101 Challenges:
International daft stuffLindsay
Video: Lindsay by Lee
Lindsay on Lindsay
Hi Y’all! I'm a 27 year old male (I think) At least that’s what the Dr said and apparently, he even has records to prove it!
When I grow up I want to be 84.
Having a girl's name always confused me. As a kid, I was always so much stronger that the other girls – Stacey Miller only ever called me “Sissy-pants” once! After her 5 week coma, she never said anything like that again and always gave me her latest Barbie outfits. Who’s your Daddy, Biatch!
Nowadays I’m pretty much your normal everyday sex god. My Mummy says I’m the most-beautifulist boy in the whole wide world.
You calling my Mum a liar???
At the age of 10, I was on a UK TV programme called "Finders Keepers" where contestants are made to raid rooms in a converted house and find certain items. Needless to say, I won the show – achieving all 8 rooms in the “Super-Search”. A fact that I'm very proud of to this day, and give me the chance, I'll bore you to death with the details. Email me. Or call.
I won’t ever back down from a challenge… Unless that challenge is a sex-starved 6ft 4” naked German man called Hans and he’s feeling frisky!
I’m the quieter, more sentimental, thoughtful and emotional brother – No, that doesn’t mean Gay. It means that I’m the thinker before the do-er.
I’m the one who’d have an enjoyable conversation about the Contemporary Arts and 19th Century Women’s Movements with a girl over a dinner of fine wine and quail eggs… hmmm, perhaps a bit gay… No... no... I prefer, one who is in touch with one's feminine side.
I love long walks along the beach. Beautiful picnics in the countryside with a gorgeous muse of a woman by my side. Spooning and pleating hair… shit… Doing it again!
In all seriousness, I’m the younger brother. That means, I’m the crazier, and funnier and more idiotic of the two of us. I’ll do anything to encourage a laugh and ask any of my friends, I’m a loud twat.
I love traveling – but I am absolutely petrified of flying. Actually get prescribed Diazepam from my Doctor before every holiday due to unintentional panic attacks on every single flight I have ever been on. Once I tried to knock myself out by banging my head against the window – much to the distress of the other passengers and the cabin crew (who, bizarrely, just laughed at me)
In terms of all this challenge malarkey… as long as I beat my brother, I’ll be happy. I will do any challenge, I ain’t scared of you! Bring it on!
Lee on Lindsay
Firstly, despite the header above, I have never been on Lindsay. It's at best a rumour and besides, the Police didn't press charges (thank God for the pre DNA days)
Well where do I start? Perhaps by telling you that his real name is John. For a laugh we decided from the age of one it would be funny to call him Lindsay. Ooh the bullying and ridicule that followed provided all the family, and especially me, with years and years of laughter. In fact, it's so good, he now introduces himself as " Hi I'm Lindsay, as in the girls name".
The name Lindsay suits him perfectly. For such a big man he is a complete and utter girl. He likes to put on a macho image, what with his manly receeding hairline and "relaxed body builder" muscles, but my God does he scream at the slightest little things.
He's scared of; Flying, intimate girls, being tickled, and especially insects (beasties as we call them)
If he experiences any of the above he can shatter the Pope-mobile's windows with his high pitched screaming.
Despite what he says, his perfect day consits of sitting at home on the internet and talking to someone called Hans Lagerveld from Germany. I heard him on Skype one day laughing and squealing "Oh Herr Lagerveld I would love your Hans all over me". Yes his wit is terrible - but I laugh and pretend that it's not so bad.
Despite loving to annoy him and enjoying all his ridicule, I do sometimes try to guide him. Take for example his "dress sense" or as I like to call it, his "I got dressed in the dark with my hands tied behind my back sense". I have tried to offer advice but his machoness (receeding hairlineness) does not allow him to comprehend this genuine attempt of help.
I can't wait to do 101 Challenges with him. He looks the bigger and braver of the two of us but looks can be deceiving. After all, he only looks 18 stone, doesn't he?
My brother is a great laugh but then again look at Peter Kay and Rosanne Barr... they all compensate don't they?
In all seriousness, he is well endowed, and I love him...