101 Challenges:

Awakening bright eyed and bushy tailed (for once) we had a Challenge to complete. This was the Rickshawshank Redemption day (a Challenge name that we're still very proud of - we're bloody geniuses) and some lucky rickshaw driver was to have an easy and tranquil day on us (not literally on us like something dirty and sexual). If anybody needs an easy day it's one of these guys.

When walking the streets of Nha Trang you get constantly asked by the rickshaw drivers if you want a ride (again, nothing sexual or dirty here either - sadly). However, when you actually want to find one they're nowhere to be seen. So we walked for a good twenty minutes before finding one.

The drivers name was Nam. We asked if we could hire him for the day and if we could drive. Both the price and the request to be driver were amicably agreed in a matter of seconds. Bbefore you could say "I have an inny belly-button" Nam was jumping into the passengers seat with a massive grin and two thumbs up. What a happy chappy our Nam was. Lee, a bit bewildered by the ease of this transaction, climbed onto the bike and off he peddled. Nam was asked where he wanted to go and he quickly nominated his first destination as the beach.

Luckily, the beach was close and so Lee didn’t have to peddle too far amidst the manic traffic. Furthermore, Lindsay, who was running along beside the rickshaw trying to film everything, was even more grateful than his dear brother for the closeness of Nam’s first pick. It's near impossible to walk in this place without breaking into a Tsunami of a sweat, nevermind run whilst holding a bloody camcorder and a tripod. Well, actually, we still don't understand this, but women never seem to have mini-showers coming from their foreheads - why is that?

Dismounting the rickshaw, Lee and his new best friend Nam strolled down the beach. They'd bonded so well during the 4 minute ride and felt so comfortable with each other that they embraced each other and held hands. Such a happy, carefree and sexually inhibited day it twas;

Half-an-hour or so later, Nam said he had enough of the beach and so, back on the bike he and Lee went. A slightly further journey to Nam’s next request ensued. Lunch. Lee was slightly tired after peddling the rickshaw and was grumbling on and on about how it was hard on his ankles. Lee thought that his younger brother was ignoring him as he sat there saying nothing and bowing his head. Lee was wrong.

Lindsay had just run 5 blocks. Sometimes filming from behind, the side and even from the front. The front angle meant that Lindsay had to not only run to keep up with the rickshaw, but had to run faster than ever before in his hamburger-happy life so as to get in position. So, what was actually happening to Lindsay was this (from Lindsay hypochondriac’s point of view). He wasn't responding to Lee’s complaints of sore bloody ankles, as he was currently having a... heart attack.

He was obviously exhausted (heavy breathing and panting like a sex-starved... like normal really) but this time his heart had actually stopped and therefore it was soon impossible to inhale. Two can's of Sprite or 7-Up (we can't remember) and a bottle of water later, he eventually started to breathe again but did not lift his head to say anything - as it was too heavy.

The day was on us and so, we bought Nam a hefty lunch and even bought him a lady (to massage him - see below) before we cycled him around town again. He said he had a great day and shook our hands and hugged us. He genuinely was beaming from ear to ear and we felt humbled and somewhat remorseful of sometimes being a bit to critical of the Vietnamese.

Just then the little bugger tried to get us to pay more. Double the stated price initially. We hired him for the day, bought him lunch, and beer (he milked that one - ordering two jugs - yes jugs and two of them) and he even got a bloody massage. Needless to say, we didn't pay a penny more! Look at the smug b*stards face here;

Round two of the ex-pat's poker tournament was on that evening and so, after practicing his poker faces in the mirror for an hour, Lindsay said he was ready to go. Sadly, on the way to the game, Lindsay spotted some delicious local delicacies, chicken claws. Being hungry 24-7 and not being able to resist such a mouth watering dish, he purchased two.

As part of the Dodgy Delacacies Challenge and as you should bloody well know by now, we've to eat anything dodgy we see here and there all over Asia. This one wasn't going to be easy. Look at them! They're fecking horrible!

Sitting down on a little plastic chair (like playschool) by the roadside in perhaps one of the least hygene friendly places in, the World, Lindsay's order of delicious chicken feet was placed in front of him. We like chicken, we eat it all the time, in curry's in soup, in burgers... it's everywhere.

But... when you're confronted by a foot and expected to prize open it's toes to suck at the "delicious" meat in between then it very quickly becomes a different story alltogether. Unless you have a foot fetish, this is a very unpleasant and stomach churning experience indeed.

We all know that chickens aren't usually kept in the greatest of sanitation conditions - let's be honest here, they live in their own sh*t. More importantly, they walk around in their own sh*t. With this forever at the forefront of his mind, Lindsay tucked in.

It was bloody disgusting I tells ya! Never again will this "delacacy" be repeated. Not sick (for once) but constantly holding back the puke that was boiling and bubbling at the back of his throat - Lindsay was congratulated by his brother as he too held back from spewing all over the place.

Anyhoo, back to the poker. All the usual crowd were there and looking no different from the previous game, with the exception of Lindsay. As we said, he had practiced with his poker faces so much he didn’t know which to use at any given time. With this dilemma he was constantly changing faces and looked like that annoying Jim Cary in Mask. Actually, he isn’t annoying all the time and he was very good in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and, The Truman Show (obviously the first film was Jim’s best), so apologies (just in case he’s reading, apparently he loves our journals).

The poker went as expected. Lee won. Lindsay lost. At least this time Lindsay had not lost quite as much as before and it was only £4. Lee left earlier than Lindsay, knowing to quit while ahead and we agreed to meet at the Buffalo Steakhouse.

Eventually, when Lindsay reached the place of food, Lee had already eaten his medium rare fillet steak with peppercorn sauce, green beans, plant (of some description) and chips. He had just savoured his final drop of his Argentinean Merlot and was currently ordering his second. He doesn’t know what backpackers are supposed to eat and is constantly wining and dining, it’s as if he is wooing himself. Lindsay had a steak and a beer. At half the price.