101 Challenges:

Happy New Year everyone!

What an amazing last few days! Hogmany on Palolem beach was manic. Although this was not the quietest beach in Goa it is still remarkably laid back and has a fantastic vibe. The place was mobbed. There must have been around 10,000 revelers, 90% of them Indians - who loved seeing us two in our kilts. Lee nearly pulled about 7 times!

Sadly though, Ganesh, Sanjeem, Raj and all the others failed to romance him finely enough and he went home with Lindsay for more spooning. If only they new how to win a guys heart... We need to be wined and dined and told that we're pretty and to be listened to when we speak about our day. No man is winning our hearts unless they give us flowers and tickle our necks. Seems that women are indeed right. Men are ba*tards and seem to be only ever after one thing!

Anyhow, you can't beat being on the beach for New Years. We met and partied with people from all over the world. Naturally, we were drunk (Scottish Tradition) and can't remember them all from that night but loads of people were saying "Hi" to us all the next day and so, we made our first new friends on this little adventure of ours.

Everyone had a similar recollection of how impressed they were by our shapes and grooves on the dance floor. It was really Lindsay who got everyone's attention. Again, he out-shone Lee by showing off his moves that he used in the Varanassi Challenge. Yes, the "Moon Walk", "Robot" and general spinning around like a monkey on acid really go down well everywhere.

New Years day itself was supposed to be an early start again, but, we never woke up until 5pm. The sun was still in the sky looking down on our Scottish snow-white bodies with a disagreeable eye. Lee looked up at the 32 degrees ball of hell, laughed at it and got dressed up in the full Where's Wally gear. Note: The air temperature was 32 degrees. The sun was a lot hotter. We guess around 65 degrees. So don't touch it - you could burn your fingers.

Out to the beach we went, and proceeded to walk a few hundred yards in full public view in order to take some Wally photos. The response Wally gets is amazing. Girls and Boys all love him. Wally even had to pose for a few photos with his "fans". However, as we all know, he doesn't like having his picture taken and so, only allowed this to happen as long as the people promised not to tell anyone where he is. Wally didn't have to try and hide from the Indians though. They just kept pointing and shouting "Good Santa". Fools.

By the time we found the ideal picture spot, the sun, who earlier thought he was going to get the better of us, gave in and started to fade. Shots of Where's Wally weren't picture-perfect and so, the next day at mid-day we made a second attempt at all this. After his photo shoot, Wally felt the need to gain a tan and so, stayed on the beach to enjoy the forever increasing heat. Can you find him?

We lost Frank - our Gnome bud. We last seen him with four hotties leaving a beach bar at 3 in the morning. It had been two days since we parted company and we were becoming a little worried about what these girls were doing to our little bearded friend.

Not to fear though. It turns out he had a bit of a drunken sexual orgy with these "tarts" and it spiraled into a massive sex party with hookers, toys and lots of lube too. Apparently, male Gnomes are sexually highly strung as female Gnomes are very shy and are locked away by their fathers until a dowry is paid and they're married off.

So on the way back down the beach today, we spotted him with said "skanks" from the bar - this time they were sunbathing.

He agreed to come back by 6pm that evening, but the dirty little bugger hasn't been since. High Five Frank!

So, this is the place where it all began. We're finally "home". Nearly all the staff at the restaurants and bars recognise us and so, we've received a very warm welcome. Maybe they're just being nice in hope that we'll actually leave a tip once or twice this visit (Scottish Tradition).

Everything is as beautiful as it was the first time round and we're taking a few days to chill out and relax - after all, this was initially meant to be a simple and relaxed year of travelling Asia - not a flurry of fecking up 101 challenges. Here's some pictures of the beach and the place where we live for the time being;

We've managed to increase Paulo Coelho's massive wealth though, by forcing fellow beach go-ers to buy his "Bible". Sadly for him, nearly all the books sold here are fake, so we doubt he'll be seeing any royalties. Sorry Paulo.

Not surprisingly, we've befriended some similar-to-ourselves-outgoing-unhibited-nutters. As if there's some invisible magnetic pull which only attracts twats-to-twats circumnavigating our bodies - all amazing people though.

We even met Rhydian from X-Factor!

Our "Mum", Chery has been looking after us and even organised a Sports Day to help us mingle with the in-crowd. About 20 of us then had egg and spoon, 3-legged, wheelbarrow and blindfold races on the beach. Naturally, Team 101 were victorious and came first. Thanks to runner's up, Team Hannah and Ceri who thankfully, not only had a crap team name but also possessed crapper egg catching skills. Losers!

We all had a party for one of our newly found friends Toby, who's now old as hell (28). He wasn't worried about it at all until Lindsay explained that he was 28 too and currently going through his mid-life crisis.

As, what has now come to be expected, Lee sustained another injury at the party. After consuming a copious amount of alcohol he truly believed he was one of the "Girls of the Playboy Mansion" and was adamant on showing us his pole dancing skills. What he forgot to take into consideration is; copious amounts of alcohol leads to a beer belly. Beer belly equals weight. Pole Dancers usually use specially adapted apparatus. Hairy-assed Scotsman with above combination - minus specially adapted apparatus results in falling off and spraining your back. An injury which will (as the next journal entry will show) last a few days.

Throughout our trip, we're trying to leave as little a carbon footprint that we can and so Lindsay has finally (after much coaching and encouraging from Lee) flooded his bum-hole with Indian water after doing each of his daily 18 jobbies. He's grown to love it, but not as much as Lee - who still squishes everytime he visits the little boys room - even if it's just to brush his teeth.

And this is how we update the site. Naturally, with a few beers, and under the starry skies over looking our little co-co-hut.