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Big Brother Celebrity Hijack

Bo!
Author
Posted by Leigh Francis as Craig David
Date
Wed 16 Jan 2008 at 22:46

Leigh Francis as Craig David

I’m doing this because I’ve got nowt else to do.

If you’d ask me how successful I’d be with the ladies in the house I’d say I’d do all right. You only have to look at how I do with girls in all the newspapers. I’m sure they’d want to have a rendezvous with me.

My advice to wannabe music sensations Calista and Nathan is beware of daft programmes like ‘Bo Selecta’ because they’ll mess it up for you.

It’s the first time I’ve left our Kes with strangers and I’m a bit worried, as she’s got an in-growing toenail. They need to use gentle kindness when looking after her of course.

My final words for my blog? Can I get a rewind? But I can’t sing it as the record company own the lyrics and I have to pay them a fee of £52.

Bo!

 

 

Trill Kee Chirp Chirp
Author
Posted by Kes
Date
Wed 16 Jan 2008 at 22:00

Kes 

Squawk, warble, trill, tweet, kee kee kee, chirp, caw.

Tweety tweet tweet, kee kee kee kee kee, 'Craii-kee-iiig D-caw-vid'. Trill, twitter, tweet tweet kee kee ke kee Kes, twee twee caw caw caw 'Jay-caw tweet Oya-kee kee kee’

Tweet tweet chirp. Chirp chirp chirp caw caw 'trill-ing twitter, chirpee, chirpee, cheep, cheep.

Squawwwwwkkkkk…..

All I've got to do is sit in a booth and talk
Author
Posted by Keith Lemon
Date
Wed 16 Jan 2008 at 15:07

Keith

I’m doing Celebrity Hijack because I’ve got a new telly programme out called ‘Keith Lemon's Gap Year’ so I thought it would be good to promote it, and I thought it looked fun. I couldn’t be more honest than that really. Oh, and I get paid quite a lot as well for doing nowt. All you do is sit in the booth really and talk.

I’m going to bring some magic into the house in the style of that TV programme ‘Lion’s Den’. I am gonna get 'em to come up with some products which they will pitch to me as products which could be available in shops and I will judge 'em to be rubbish or really good. It’ll give me some new ideas as I haven’t been taking care of my business really because I’ve been travelling round the world; you’ll see that in my new TV show ‘Keith Lemon’s Gap Year’, did I mention I travel round the world?

By the way, did I also mention I do a bit of work for charity? I’ve got a foundation called ‘Lemon’s Aid’ where I help inward children become outwards children. That’s why I’ve brought Martin with me. I will try and get him in the house. It’s a social experiment because we will see how his personality will develop surrounded by strangers he don’t know and stuff, see if he can make friends with them.

My motto to the housemates in order to be successful would be ‘Cheat, lie and beg’. Do all these things because all these things will come back to you three times but you will have the upper hand because you too will be a liar, cheater and beggar and you will know when someone’s doing it to ya. Are ya with me? Thought you were.

I hope you enjoy me hijacking. I would like to try and evict someone. If you can’t it’s not a real show is it? You can’t have proper hijacked it otherwise they would’ve let you evict someone. We’ll also see whether Martin gets a girlfriend in there. And, watch my new TV show ‘Keith Lemon’s Gap Year’

Thanks for supporting me.

That’s it.

Thanks

Keith

More from Big Brother
Author
Posted by Big Brother
Date
Wed 16 Jan 2008 at 12:18

BB eye

On tonight’s show Joan Rivers delivers a masterclass in quick fire comedy, taking the p**s out of the housemates mercilessly. As you probably already know, she decided who was to face the public vote this Friday – she chose Liam, Jeremy and Emilia to join Victor, who was already nominated. You can see how that all happened on tonight’s show. Also featured tonight – the first real argument in the house and it’s nothing to do with Joan Rivers. It’s a salutary tale of how a simple joke can get out of hand. Jay and Latoya start a pretend argument – but do they take it too far? Let us know what you think…

Big Brother is still enjoying the company of these housemates. They are very real people – we don’t feel that any arch or fake behaviour is particularly evident. Of course some of them are being pretty guarded and trying to slip through unnoticed (Nathan has openly said that’s what he’s trying to do). But that’s always the way with Big Brother. What’s refreshing, though, is that when an argument happens it comes from a real place – it’s not just people “telling it like it is” to each other just because they think that “makes good TV”.  We’re also enjoying having a laugh at the programmes – when it’s funny it’s at its best and the housemates have had a lot to do with that as well as the hijackers.

Today’s hijacker is yet to arrive. His name is Leigh Francis in real life but here he is going to be taking the part of Keith Lemon and, later, Craig David. He wants to turn every single housemate into Craig David too. Big Brother is a big fan of Bo’ Selecta so is wobbling with excitement that he’s in charge today.

Other hot hijacker news for you: tomorrow it’s Denise Van Outen taking the reins and we have just confirmed top American comedian Roseanne Barr who will be jetting in to perform her very own hijack on the house some time next week.

One quick thing: don’t believe anything the Daily Star says about Big Brother – it’s all made up. The Big Brother team on the road are very happy with the audition process – and there are already some interesting prospects for next summer’s house. Note to BB9 applicants – the best advice is: keep it real…

Back to work.

BB

The latest from Big Brother...
Author
Posted by Big Brother
Date
Tue 15 Jan 2008 at 14:02

Tonight's programme with Brian Sewell has to be one of the most unusual Big Brother shows you will see. Normally Big Brother doesn't tell housemates what’s been on TV. But Brian does – and it's Liam he tells. A great cringy moment. And the rest of it is all about manners... it's interesting stuff.

 Top news – Joan Rivers is in the hijack booth, and boy is she stirring things up – she's pretty much telling them all off. And she's running nominations in her own inimitable way. She is a very, very funny woman.

What you need to know about Nominations: Remember Victor's already been nominated this week (by Anthony as a forfeit for losing the SAS interrogation task), Amy and Anthony are immune from the vote (Amy, because she won the task and then chose Anthony to be free from the vote), and, of course, John is also immune because Matt Lucas said so. It's not confusing, is it?

Tomorrow it's Keith Lemon – top businessman from the 90s. I think he wants to do a bit of an Alan Sugar, but we'll have to wait and see. He'll be closely followed by Craig David. Am going to be confirming some more names for you tomorrow... so watch this space.

Also – so you know, this is the place you can actually speak directly to Big Brother. I will post under the name of The Real BB on the discussion strand after the blog. And I would really like to hear your thoughts, about housemates, hijackers, anything you like. I won't always necessarily respond but I will read all comments. 

Thanks 'n that

Big Brother

Fine dining...
Author
Posted by Brian Sewell
Date
Tue 15 Jan 2008 at 13:45

Brian Sewell is the hijacker

I've always thought that Big Brother was fun, and very instructive about the way human beings begin to work together or society disrupts; you have a small group and it either gels or it fragments. It's a fascinating sociological exercise.

If Big Brother was a painting, it would be something like a Picasso at the point when he is discovering cubism, and there is a bit of realism and there is a bit of fragmentary cubism in there. It’s not really a very good picture, but it's very exciting because you can see where it's going.

I'd quite like to meet Amy without the stress of all this, so that we could have a serious conversation. She's obviously intelligent and, in a sense, artistically literate because she knows a great deal about contemporary art – but I suspect she doesn't know much about anything before about twenty years ago. That's the problem with a lot of art students. Her brain works very clearly and logically, and there is solid stuff there. 

I thought they were all good housemates, but there were two or three who rather sat back and let the world pass by, and would get nearer the end than some more meritorious members of the team, simply for not being noticed. Latoya and Nathan are hardly noticeable. Jay just sort of lays about and makes the occasional gesture. Poor Victor, who is really rather objectionable in some ways, is a very definite character and has very definite talents and opinions. He is a well made personality, but will probably be thrown out because he is so positive – people positively dislike him.

When people have a dinner party at home, which is essentially what today's Task was, they generally make an effort to wear something a bit different, even if it is simply 'smart casual'. The only way I could think of making this happen in the House was taking the radical step of introducing the cross-dressing element of the task, and it worked and they enjoyed it. I think Anthony entered into the spirit of things in a way I never expected. I thought he would say "No, I won't do that", but there he was, playing the part and seeming to enjoy becoming someone else. I was a little disappointed in Jay, who I thought might have taken the opportunity to make an effort to shine.

My time as Big Brother has been fun from beginning to end, and very touching at the end. I never thought that people would sing "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow" – I don’t think it's ever happened before.

I hope that I leave lots of little legacies in the House. There may be somebody who goes to the opera who maybe wouldn’t have gone, or somebody who goes to a boxing match who wouldn't have gone. Perhaps some will think that food is worth taking care over.

Chris goes in to the house
Author
Posted by Chris Moyles
Date
Sun 13 Jan 2008 at 21:55

Chris is the hijacker

Chris Moyles

Well hello it's me, Chris Moyles. I've just finished my day hijacking the Big Brother House and I've just been in the secret bar with John, which was wicked. I genuinely forgot a couple of times that I was inside the House. I thought I was in a bar with a bloke who I recognise on the telly, so that was nice. I tried my best to make him cry and I thought he might go at one point but he's too tough.

It's been great. I've had a lovely day. I think I've managed to get some pizza for the housemates. I'm gonna go in to the house and say goodbye to them and have a few chats, then I'm going home because to be honest, I've got to be up at five tomorrow morning!

 

BB's Saviour
Author
Posted by Chris Moyles
Date
Sun 13 Jan 2008 at 15:01

Hello. This is my blog-thing…

I am the saviour of broadcasting, in fact I think I'm the saviour of all media throughout Europe, and my Big Brother legacy is…. I'm gonna to be the first Hijacker to have sex with one of the housemates… I think I might make that a girl... or the guy who's into fashion who looks like David Walliams.

Today I’m going to mess with their heads a bit and tell them things that aren't necessarily true and just have some fun – oh, and pick on the housemates that nobody likes... you know who you are.

I’m not gonna abuse my power, I'm going to use the authority carefully. I'm a fan of the show so I'm going to do the things that other viewers would like to do… Maybe.

Double trouble!
Author
Posted by Peaches Geldof and Fifi Brown
Date
Fri 11 Jan 2008 at 15:00

Peaches and Fifi

Hi people,

We’ve decided to do Celebrity Hijack because we wanted to bring back the party to the Big Brother house. We want to shake it up a bit.

We’ve already been trying our hand today at being Big Brother and we’ve been pretty strict, strict but social. There’s been lots of chit chat and gossip with the housemates. We’ve got them participating in fun games such as the bird noise competition!

We’ve also been using the housemates as puppets and abusing our power!

We set them a task earlier to create two bands, 'Emo' and 'Newer Rave'. It’s the off shoot of new rave but it’s newer, it’s bolder and its more ‘raveable’. Jeremy has done well with the task and Liam is doing really well.

Jay may get the brunt of our anger later on. We don’t like him. He bad mouthed Peaches and then felt the need to tell us that in the diary room. We don’t like the way he smiles and you can see behind the smile.

We like John. We’d like him to win. If he doesn’t it would be nice for Nathan to win. Also Jeremy is really hot. When he got his ‘Emo’ clothes on and picked up a guitar he looked really hot.

We hope you enjoy our hijack and ‘believe the rave’

Bye!

Peaches and Fifi x

The latest from Big Brother
Author
Posted by Big Brother
Date
Fri 11 Jan 2008 at 12:26
Eye Logo


Obviously this is top secret so don’t tell anyone. Andy McNab and his interrogators are preparing a very SAS-style hijack for the wee small hours of Saturday morning. It’s taken a while to get it all together. The housemates have been asked to volunteer to be interrogated so at least they are prepared when the “lift” happens. I can tell you now that they have all volunteered. Ah, they are an adventurous bunch. And don’t worry, health and safety checks have all happened, expert sources have been consulted, the idea has been pored over endlessly here in the BB offices and we are happy it’s all good to go.

By the way it’s strange meeting Andy. Normally you only see him in silhouette. And that’s how he will appear in the show. In real life he’s not in silhouette. In real life he looks like a real person. Secret Squirrel and all that.

Just want to take time to correct today’s piece of nonsense in The Daily Star. Nothing to do with BB has been axed. And everyone here is very happy with Celebrity Hijack. It’s E4’s highest rating programme  – but more than that, as I keep saying, it’s an experiment – playing with the conventions of Big Brother to see what happens. So, even though it sounds like a cliché do not believe what you read in the papers.

Tonight you can see Janet Street Porter ply her trade. And do mucho swearing. Her TV task is very character revealing. And don’t miss the start of the show. It involves Liam and it’s very, very funny. The mucky young pup.

Just a reminder about what’s coming up over the next few days. SAS on Saturday, Chris Moyles on Sunday (not far removed from the SAS), the brilliantly voiced Brian Sewell on Monday and Joan Rivers running the nominations on Tuesday.

Also coming up, Keith Lemon, some charming girls from Hollyoaks (Big Brother might even come in on his day off for that one) and Jimmy Carr. I shall be announcing another couple of very exciting names at the beginning of next week too. So watch this space.

I’m outta here. Big Brother