Big Brother:

Well everyone, 

My time as Big Brother was amazing!

I’ve never controlled people in my life. I was giving them orders and they were doing what I told them. It was riveting and an extraordinary insight into people.

The tic-tac task was just a bit of fun and froth. But when you show someone, as I showed Jade, the video of what Victor has been saying. That really upset her and it was the way he then had to manipulate and get back into her affections and he really was genuinely contrite.

That is really what I think Big Brother is about. Not hard tasks and athletic prowess etc. It’s a mental thing and that was what the challenge was; how Victor would react and how Jade would react to a really unpleasant circumstance.

If you or anyone around us could see what people really thought about us it would be very hard to forgive. I think Victor was absolutely outstanding in the way he did everything right.

I would say Jay is my favourite housemate. He’s an extraordinary character at his age. He’s well known round the world. It did surprise me when he said he likes ties earlier. I can’t believe a young man likes ties. They are ghastly things and totally useless!

If I could be Big Brother again I wouldn’t hesitate. But then I’m the only person that’s been in the house, done Big Mouth and now been a hijacker!

Right, I am off home now!

I expect Boobie will be waiting for me at home with a nice fillet steak, surf and turf.

Some lobster would go down well. And I think a bottle of champagne. I mean, after what I’ve been through at least I deserve steak, lobster and champagne. That’s not asking too much is it?

Yours truly,

John

Here I am as the new Celebrity Hijacker

The great thing about Big Brother is it’s real. They hate each other, they love each other. It shows raw emotion and that’s what Big Brother’s about. It brings out the real people, whether they are acting or not is for other people to judge. There’s no scripts for them and positions to take. They come out as themselves.

I think I am the only person that’s been a housemate, that’s ever hosted Big Brother’s Big Mouth, and now I am becoming a Celebrity Hijacker. It’s great to be on the other side. I know what they are going through.

I’d like to mentally test the housemates whilst I am the Celebrity Hijacker, especially as they are so bright. No one is hating each other or saying bitchy remarks. So I want to try and bring out what bitchiness there has been and let one housemate know it and see if I can stir things up by setting a very clever task. But in the end I want to be very sympathetic to what they are going through as it’s very very tough in there and most people don’t realise.

Out of the housemates, I really feel Anthony is the stallion of the group. He’s got the muscles and is a boxer. Jade is the mare of the group, she’s the beauty queen but she has got very irritating habits. I am not surprised she has been nominated.

The trouble with the women in the house is that none of them are really developed. Emelia’s got no chest at all. I could never sleep with a woman with no chest. That’s the one problem with these housemates; they need a big-breasted girl.

Personally I am looking forward to seeing how things work from the other side. They’ve put me in this magnificent caravan thing. I forget what they call it, a ‘wine bago’ or a ‘winey – bago’. You could imagine all the film stars that have been in here. They have even gone and got me some diet coke. Just think, the great Russell Brand and Matt Lucas have been in here. I am honoured to be in such luxury.

That’s all for now. I shall hopefully be able to report back on my time as a Celebrity Hijacker later on today.

Until then

Farewell

John

P.S. I thought briefly of bringing my wife ‘Booby’ down today, but it’s actually nice to get away from her for the day. She is clinging on. It’s actually delightful to get her out of the way…

 

The latest from Big Brother…

You have got to watch tonight. Russell Brand’s hijack is mental.He flirts with the girls, and breaks the boundaries of the format in quite an unusual and very funny way. He was also able to create some moments that are very character revealing. Some true colours emerge, let’s leave it at that. So watch and see. It’s worth it.

John McCririck is on-site preparing his very own little twist. It’s going to involve him revealing something to a housemate that someone else has said about them. It mirrors John’s own experience on Celebrity BB when Caprice was shown footage of him slagging her off. Again, it’s John’s own idea. He wants to make them deal with it in a very specific way. All the ideas are coming from the Celebrity Hijackers, which is giving each show its own unique flavour.

Chris Moyles has been talking on the radio about some of the things he’d like to do when he hijacks the house this coming Sunday. Apparently he was talking about sending some page three girls in. The Daily Star have phoned and offered their page three girls. Which is nice of them. We are yet to confirm with Chris exactly what he wants to do – so he may not have settled on that idea yet.

This morning the housemates’ toothpaste was replaced with garlic paste. BB is currently trying to get to the bottom of how this happened.

Voting has begun on Jade, Jeremy and Victor. It’s close. Really close.

Big Brother is watching.

That’s it. Big Brother

I've had a marvellous experience on Big Brother. It was probably one of the most successful hijacks in history. All my demands were met. I've had a whale of a time.

I’ve particularly enjoyed the Paul Garner-inspired acting. Me and him did that thing and it was a lovely to-do… a bit of a stand off! That was a laugh and I enjoyed getting the girls individually into the diary room and I was flirting with ‘em all as individuals. Might do a little bit more of that.

Plus it’s lovely to be back here, part of the Big Brother franchise you know, I feel like I’ve been gone away too long I tell ya! I’ve half a mind to ask for my old job back. But those boys, James and Matt are doing such a tremendous job that I'd be very lucky to be reinstated.

 

 

 

 

I've had a marvellous experience on Big Brother. It was probably one of the most successful hijacks in history. All my demands were met. I've had a whale of a time.

I’ve particularly enjoyed the Paul Garner-inspired acting. Me and him did that thing and it was a lovely to-do… a bit of a stand off! That was a laugh and I enjoyed getting the girls individually into the diary room and I was flirting with ‘em all as individuals. Might do a little bit more of that.

Plus it’s lovely to be back here, part of the Big Brother franchise you know, I feel like I’ve been gone away too long I tell ya! I’ve half a mind to ask for my old job back. But those boys, James and Matt are doing such a tremendous job that I'd be very lucky to be reinstated.

Watch Russell's video

The latest from Big Brother…

Russell Brand has now arrived. He has plans, but knowing Russell they will probably change throughout the day. Anything could happen with him at the helm. Big Brother is, like, proper excited. Like a school kid who’s just discovered a massive conker. He’s decorated the place with West Ham paraphernalia and posters of Morrissey – so the housemates think Morrissey is coming. Which he most definitely isn’t.

Kelly Osbourne did a grade-A job yesterday with nominations, throwing her own thoughts and opinions into the process – very different from the way I do them.
I am utterly neutral. She wasn’t. Which is great. You’ll see that all tonight on the show at 9.  I can exclusively reveal that three people are up for nomination but I am not telling who it is. Here’s a clue though – two males and one female.

Tomorrow John McCririck is going to be having a go at Hijacking. He joined us for our rehearsal weeks and he was very McCririck-esque. It will be strange and wonderful.

Today…
Big Brother is wondering: if “sexing” pillows is a widespread thing.
Big Brother put its back out trying to do a handstand like Victor does.
Big Brother has avoided the vomiting bug.

Thought for the day: How much of the editing happens in your head? Think about it.

Now that’s it.
Big Brother

The latest from Big Brother... 

Kelly Osbourne today.  She’s coming in to run nominations. Just spoken to her, and she’s mad keen to tell some of the housemates what she thinks. She definitely has a view on them. It’s great fun for the celebs to be watching the show one night and coming in the next day to say and do what the hell they want. Whatever happens she’s going to run the process in her own inimitable way. It should be fun. She’s said she’s nervous - it’s a nerve jangling experience being Big Brother so we wish her luck.

It has been interesting watching the Celebrities take over the Big Brother reins so far.
They are obviously much more human than Big Brother – because
they are building up a much more personal relationship with the housemates – they know who they are and diary room and task encounters are conducted in a much chattier manner. Sometimes that can be quite revealing. It’s certainly interesting in terms of our BB experiment.

Tomorrow it’s the return of Russell Brand – so if anyone feels the housemates aren’t having a tough enough time that could all change. He’s planning some interesting hits – don’t know if we will have enough time in the day to do them all. He may even be sending someone in to mess around with the housemates. Watch this space.

The first eviction’s going to take place on Friday.

Questions puzzling Big Brother today: Does Amy look more like Heather Mills McCartney or Shell Jubin from BB5? At what point during a bend will Emelia finally snap? Is Liam’s hair a being from another planet? Is it better to be nice or nasty in the Big Brother House? Who is the best looking housemate?

Big Brother is currently re-reading: 1984
Big Brother is currently listening to: Bloc Party
Big Brother has stopped drinking for January. This is not proving easy.
Note to conspiracy theorists: Big Brother doesn’t have a favourite. Big Brother does not mind who wins.

My time as a Big Brother Hijacker has been great. I thought it was really interesting how the task developed because they really leant a lesson as a group throughout the day. They started off very seriously and it kind of dipped as they got a bit tired and then they came together again but when the actual time came, and they had to work together, the whole thing kind of fell apart – they were working individually rather than collectively.

I felt bad that they failed the task but they were really cool, a lot of them were like, we don’t mind the basic rations and don’t care about the luxury items but then I saw that Latoya was looking a bit glum and John was looking a bit sad so I felt bad because I really did like them. I thought they were really charming but they didn’t really do what the task demanded.

It’s really interesting actually because they’re a group of peers and they’re all at the forefront of their various fields so they’re all use to being the leader. John’s obviously very much an organiser and an official and he was kind of taking the lead but I think that it’s hard for them to sort of be corralled into working as a team.

As it went on I became more crazed with power and being a huge Big Brother fan it was really nice to actually form the day and drop little things in and see how it played out.

I’m actually sad that I’ve got to go back to America tomorrow – I’m gonna have to get DVD’s sent to keep an eye on them all.

I’ve had a really great time.

Alan

I am doing this because I am obsessed with Big Brother. I try and work in Britain in order to see Big Brother and for the last three, I’ve been working here and I’ve been able to see it and I’ve actually almost delayed my flight back to New York to stay longer. Yeah I get obsessed with it and I always tell myself ‘that was just a spectacular one last year and I’m not going to be so crazy about it this time’ but I always do. So I am just a Big Brother freak!

I think that as a Hijacker, I am being kind but firm and I’m really loving the way they’re all exploring things about themselves, which are coming through the characters that I’m giving them. I think I’m being friendly and letting them explore things that they maybe didn’t realise they had to explore.

I’m already having loads of fun because already the people who are in character are starting to speak to each other in character. I think it will be really great!

If I think that people are not staying in character and not working to the rules, I’ve been giving them a little nod. I mean you’ve got to be firm. I think some of them are a little lazy. It’s probably just nerves. I’m loving the way Amelia who was a little shy girl, has blossomed into this vamp. And Jeremy – I think he’s amazing.

 

Evening everyone, 

Well, my time as a Celebrity Hijacker is over... 

I had a brilliant time. To be in there with people that have really got the drive and passion about what they’re doing and at that age is really quite inspiring for me. I loved it, absolutely loved it!

I set them a task where they couldn’t hear; it was a bit like charades. They had to describe the sounds they were hearing. I also set them a sight impaired task where they undertook a penalty shoot out with goggles on. They could only see out of a tiny pinprick hole and that’s why it looked so uncoordinated, but it was a fantastic effort from them.

Being Big Brother has given me faith in that generation again because you get a lot of bad publicity about that age group not doing anything, just using drugs, guns and taking from the state. What I’ve taken away from it is there is hope for people because there is a generation of 19 to 21 year olds who have got ambition and drive, and they are out there. It was really good to be out there amongst them and it is why I said I want to do it. They gave me a buzz!

I would definitely do it again, I love them and I love Big Brother. I am a massive Big Brother fan.

Goodbye!

Ian