101 Challenges:

Location: Phi Phi - Thailand

Yesterday was Songkran, which is the Thai New Year and is celebrated by all. The New Year is brought in with a massive water fight, with gigantic water pistols and buckets of water being aimed at anybody passing by. The Thais love this time of year so much so, that even the shops close. Which for Thailand really does indicate how precious this holiday is.

Unfortunately we missed much of the day as we were both feeling worse for wear – Lindsay, as he partied all night and woke up in a bar on the other side of the island, and Lee, because he was ill. Which is another way of saying too much drink also.

However, Lindsay did manage to soak up (pun intended) some of the fun as, when he woke up in the bar he had slurishly collapsed in, he had to walk for about two hours in the sweltering, sweat-enducing heat before he managed to get a sight of his first taxi.

He asked how much it would cost to take him home and after being told 400 Baht he walked for another hour before reluctantly agreeing a ludicrous fee to hop on the back of two 12 year old kids moped just so he could get back to his bed. Happily he laid his head to rest, blissfully in the comfort of having saved 100 Baht after only having had to walk 87kms (rough guestimate).

During his early morning hangover walk he was constantly soaked by buckets of water, some with ice in them - much to his delight, and the others with simply annoying quantities of bloody water, but it was all part of the Thai tradition and he took it surprisingly well – calm, upbeat, and without spitting out his dummy. Eventually, three hours later, he arrived back at the hotel drenched and somewhat sunburned – with the classic 'Farmers Tan'.

We were quite devastated to miss being able to act like kids and for once not stand out from the crowd or be threatened with arrest. Lindsay though, had the pleasure of at least joining in a water fight the night before at the many bars he had frequented.

Talking about arrest or cops to be precise, we were pulled over at a random police check yesterday on our mopeds. This has happened to Lee once before for not wearing a helmet (he wasn’t given one) and he was fined 200 Baht which he did not pay as he was leaving the island on which the fine was being imposed on that same day and was advised by the cop not to bother. Nice people so the Thai cops are.

On this occasion we were both wearing helmets and so, when pulled (in the decent sense of the word) we felt confident of no monies being extracted from our tight pockets. Oh how wrong. The smiling chap of authority simply said “licence you show”.

Neither of us were carrying a licence at the time and explained this to the still smiling officer. Surely he’d be happy to accept our excuses of not wanting to go to beaches with our wallets and encourage pickpockets and (not or) get all our valuable documentation and currency bearing the Kings head all wet. We explained everything was kept safe and dry and not stolen back at our hotel. We even offered to go back and get them but the now Cheshire cat in front of us didn’t want to see them. He simply wanted to fine us, 300 Baht each. Bad people so the Thai cops are.

In Thailand you get a licence by simply sitting a theory test, no driving is required so why we were being asked to show was really irrelevant and confusing to us. Reluctantly, and after some shouting and a few swear words (which were quickly swapped for nice words and calm talk – through fear of being arrested for 19 years) we got off our bikes and decided to be as politely awkward as the situation that was being presented to us was.

Lee said he had no money and enquired what would happen if he didn’t pay? His keys were quickly whipped from the ignition of his moped and it looked like the bike would be confiscated. Lee (like one of those idiots you see on America’s dumbest criminals) jumped back on his bike and said “well, you ain’t taking this without me on it”. Foolish and naïve really looking back in hindsight.

Lindsay, despite ranting and raving like a stereotypical Scotsman about to be left £5 worse off, due to what was obviously a barefaced money making scheme for the local police department, offered to go back and get the licences while Lee waited there with the officer. This kind and gentlemanly offer was subsequently declined by the officer who explained he didn’t give a hoot (pronounced feck in Thai) about seeing our licences and that all he wanted was money.

We eventually paid – apparently you can’t haggle fines with these peeps - Lindsay was furious that he was charged for not having a licence on him but Lee was slightly relieved - as he doesn’t actually have one anyway.

This incident had caused so much distress and, with missing Songkran, the Gods were advising us it was time to move on - and so we did. We caught a boat to Kho Phi Phi one of the islands devastated by the Tsunami a few years back but, more famous for being the setting of “The Beach”. You wouldn’t know this on arrival as the town is completely rebuilt - if a little shanty looking in some places. Only Lee knew the difference as he had been here in 2000 and the layout of the “new” town is a little different.

This place is still beautiful and so we’ll spend a few days here before deciding where to go next - we have a spare 10 days before we have to be in Kuala Lumpur for the next bunch of challenges and filming.

Let the beer flow, the woman dance (that may be a metaphor) and the sun shine. We’re officially on holiday for 10 days so don’t expect much in terms of updates as we’re incredibly busy doing nothing!