101 Challenges:

Location : Goa, India

On New Years Eve (at 23:59 hours precisely) we met with a couple of English geezers called Toby and Sophie. The two go out with each other and so we were never in with a chance. Apparently Toby’s a faithful lad – bugger.

We had breakfasts, lunches, dinners and copious amounts of drinks with these two Cockney Sprouts for almost a fortnight. In effect, we completely ruined their “romantic getaway” but, we had fun, and that’s what counts.

Anyhoo, we’ve made some really amazing pals on our journey so far and we thought it’s only right for us to acknowledge everyone wherever we go. So here are some of the most amazing people you’d ever be lucky enough to meet.

Cheryl – unbelievably, this gal is a psychologist back “home” in ole Engaland. She’s the party animal that arranged Sports Day, a Kiddies Party for Toby’s 28th birthday and our Bad Taste/Fancy Dress Night. Simply, she ruined the ambience and tranquility of Goa for any holiday makers for an entire week. We love her.

During the aforementioned Sports Day, we crossed paths with Hannah and Ceri - 2 of the most amazing girls from Brighton. Gorgeous gals and Ceri’s a great actress, allegedly. She fantastically acted as if we were interesting and entertaining for the 20 hours we knew her.

All these people have asked us to be their friends on “facebook” but we’ve point blank refused. Why would we want to give people the opportunity to “throw lobsters” at us or get “Vampires” to bite us? All pointless nonsense. A bit like this site really.

So… not content with a broken foot, Lindsay decided to get the man-flu this week too. You have never heard a cough like this in all your life. It was pretty much the same as any other cold, but Lindsay has to emphasise pain, discomfort and any other ailments in order to convince himself and the world around him that he’s contracted a disease which is almost certain to cause death.

The evil bast*rd that he is deliberately coughs up in the air in our (shared) bed (because we’re really close brothers) so that the germs he has lands on Lee.

As we said our farewells to Toby and Sophie, we had a small discussion on the longevity of our Indian stay. Although we’ve only been here for just over 2 weeks, it feels like we’ve been away for 2 months. There’s no better feeling than knowing you have another 11.5 months of no work. Approximately 49.5 weeks of seeing women in bikinis all day long. Roughly 350 days of chilling by the sea. (Lindsay just broke into the “Little Mermaid” song there)

The Pineapple song is coming along swimmingly. According to the workings of Lindsay’s mind, Pineapples are from the UK. Mangos are Indian and Bananas come from Sri Lanka. We haven’t got any further with the lyrics or the genius underlying story of it all yet but the dance moves are amazing!

And so, Mark (our boss) has arrived and in less than 6 hours, did what we couldn’t in 16 days. Prick.

In all seriousness though, he’s come with a plan and it should be fun trying to stick to it. He’s a good lad – but, looks like the “Love-rat” Mark Bananaman from “I’m A Celebrity” so we don’t trust him completely yet. He might tell Lee that he’s pretty and as soon as his back is turned, make a move on Lindsay. But, if he then goes back to Lee, then we’re both winners in our eyes!

We both spoke to Mummy a few days ago and she delightfully told us that BBC Radio had sent us a cheque each for the interview/chat we did on Christmas Day. We would have put a link to said interview here, but it was complete p*sh and so, we’ll try to forget that chapter instead.

£36 each we got. Which, considering the above self-made comments on our performance, is bloody amazing! If only we were good, we’d probably walk away with £42.89. Must try harder.

Tomorrow we do the Yoga Yarn Challenge and, to be brutally honest, we are crapping ourselves. Not literally (for once). This is possibly our hardest challenge. To gather a group of expectant students and then stand up in front of them and “teach” this ancient and respected technique will be almost sacrilege. Goa is the home of Yoga in India and so far, after hours of walking around it’s beaches and streets advertising our free class on a sandwich board, we’ve had a pretty negative response.  

We’ve only had 2 Yoga classes ourselves. One lasted 30 minutes, the second, a mere 15 minutes. What the hell are we going to do? And how the hell are we going to do it?

We expect this Challenge to fall flat on its ass. So anything other than public ridicule will be a brilliant result.

But back to today, which has been the “Day of the Cow”. Lee licked one which was hilarious! Within 10 seconds, he was throwing up all over the street – not cooked properly we fear. Lindsay on the other hand, nearly got humped by one. The closest he’s come to scoring since leaving Scotland.