101 Challenges:

We arrived back in Bangkok at 05:30 am after a 13 hour bus trip – nice though – Lindsay had 2 seats for himself and apart from the worst movie in the World every (Identity… Cusack what the f*ck were you thinking?) and having to endure the title screen of the DVD for an hour afterwards, the trip was surprisingly pleasant.

So, it’s 07:05 am and we’re sitting in a very overpriced café on the Kho San Road. Lee’s already pushed one poo out and Lindsay’s in absolute agony as he awaits the b*stard who’s been in the only toilet cubicle for at least 45 minutes now to exit. He better be dead!

Ass gripped tight in excrutiating agony – Lindsay orders another 45 Baht Coffee and prays like never before for the cubicle to come free. He knows that he has to wipe and/or skoosh his ass cleaner and better than ever before – because at 1pm today, he’s going to stick a hose up it!

08:10 and Lindsay shouts at one of the waiters to force entry into the toilet – Turtle heads are appearing now. The confused staff member replies with a “Push Door” and bewildered look upon his face.

Lindsay – hobbles over to the toilet door and with a huge barge – forces open the door – expecting to come across a corpse and have to wait another hour-or-so for Thai Tourist Police to complete forensics. No body. Instead, what he’s confronted by is a…

Toilet. Apparently turning the knob doesn’t open doors in this restaurant – you have to apply some slight pushing pressure too.

6 minutes later and 4 pounds lighter – Lindsay skips back to our table – elated of his poop accomplishment.

09:00 now and Lee’s just found us a bed for the night – thing is, we can’t check in until 11am. That leaves very little time for Lindsay to squeakily clean his bum hole in order to save potential embarrassment at the bum-clinic.

Not surprisingly, Lindsay just bought “Walk The Line” on DVD – this is his substitute to finding a lady and will probably bring him as much happiness as a girly-friend would do anyhow.
 
Colonic

Carlsberg don’t make hospitals but if they did, they’d make the hospital we just visited in Bangkok today.

You see, Lindsay, in a lifelong aim of shedding some weight, signed up for some colonic irrigation.

Meet up with K and Natasha again – planning commences

Lee’s day was filled with much more pleasurable things than bodily functions. Not soon after arriving in Khoa San Road he had found a hotel room with an 11 O’clock check-in and decided to spend the time shopping and admiring Khoa San come to life.

This street really is amazing. At 6am you still have life in some of the bars with some people (probably the Scots and Irish) still drinking from the night before. They have that “no, we wont let this great night end easily. If we carry on drinking then we won't notice the sun come up” look. At the same time as this the streets are being cleaned and the first of the traders are starting to open their shops or set up their stalls.

The noises of the hustle and the bustle start to grow and very quickly from a sedate little street with maybe one or two bars generating a little noise the street is buzzing again and the travellers surely emerge and the ever repeating life of the Khoa San is here again.

After checking in and getting an hour's nap Lee meets up with Lindsay for a bite to eat. This is where Lindsay says he has booked in for Colonic Irrigation. Lee manages to stifle a laugh and tell Lindsay how ridiculous this idea is and so instead says “That’s a great idea, I’m sure it will be very pleasant. I’ll film it”. Lindsay the fool also agrees to this being a good idea and Lee looks forward to the anguish his brother will face tomorrow.