101 Challenges:

Location: Bangkok - Thailand

We promised we’d never go on about Lindsay’s bowel movements again but this journal entry is an exception. You see, ever since leaving Scotland on the 27th December 2007, Lindsay has lost all control of his ass. He can’t eat, sleep, walk, talk, read, sing, smile or cry without crapping himself.

For the past two weeks though we’ve been a little concerned. Lindsay’s been suffering from rather nasty diarrhoea. He’s been running (quicker than he’s ever moved before and defying the nature of physics) to the toilet at least three times a day, before breakfast. Three times after breakfast. Four times before lunch and, between lunch and tea time, visits the little boys room on average, a further five times. About four other jobby visits will be made before he goes to sleep, when, he’ll wake up at least twice during the night to poo some more.

Apparently, if your poops are runny for more than 48 hours the NHS website says you should see a doctor immediately. But, with him having absolutely no faith in the medical profession anymore after the misdiagnosis of his deadly strain of malaria as a simple sneeze and his broken toes as a grazed knee, Lindsay’s decided to become his own doctor.

Through the infinite wisdom of Google, Wikipedia and numerous other webernet sites, he’s managed to diagnose himself. He has slight Crons disease, irritable bowel syndrome, dysentery and worms.

So, using the newly created “Lindsay self-help guide” he popped down to the local pharmacy and bought some medication. He’s now taking Imodium once a day to dense up the consistency of his jobbies, Ciprofloxacin 500mg twice a day - which is apparently a rather good antibiotic and, Zenzera (2 tablets once per day) to kill the worms that he insists he’s home to.

The younger brother’s going to see how he gets on with the above before tackling the other 2374 diseases and ailments he’s found out he has after stumbling on an A-Z list of medical words. It’s like watching your Mum going through the pages of a catalogue and pointing at random and needless things, saying I’ll have that one, that one and oooh, they’re cheap, I’ll have four of them too