Big Brother:

I’m doing Celebrity Hijack because I’ve got a new telly programme out called ‘Keith Lemon's Gap Year’ so I thought it would be good to promote it, and I thought it looked fun. I couldn’t be more honest than that really. Oh, and I get paid quite a lot as well for doing nowt. All you do is sit in the booth really and talk.

I’m going to bring some magic into the house in the style of that TV programme ‘Lion’s Den’. I am gonna get 'em to come up with some products which they will pitch to me as products which could be available in shops and I will judge 'em to be rubbish or really good. It’ll give me some new ideas as I haven’t been taking care of my business really because I’ve been travelling round the world; you’ll see that in my new TV show ‘Keith Lemon’s Gap Year’, did I mention I travel round the world?

By the way, did I also mention I do a bit of work for charity? I’ve got a foundation called ‘Lemon’s Aid’ where I help inward children become outwards children. That’s why I’ve brought Martin with me. I will try and get him in the house. It’s a social experiment because we will see how his personality will develop surrounded by strangers he don’t know and stuff, see if he can make friends with them.

My motto to the housemates in order to be successful would be ‘Cheat, lie and beg’. Do all these things because all these things will come back to you three times but you will have the upper hand because you too will be a liar, cheater and beggar and you will know when someone’s doing it to ya. Are ya with me? Thought you were.

I hope you enjoy me hijacking. I would like to try and evict someone. If you can’t it’s not a real show is it? You can’t have proper hijacked it otherwise they would’ve let you evict someone. We’ll also see whether Martin gets a girlfriend in there. And, watch my new TV show ‘Keith Lemon’s Gap Year’

Thanks for supporting me.

That’s it.

Thanks

Keith