Fonejacker:

Dufrais Constantinople is more than just the head of the local residents' committee, he has award-winning rosebushes - two of them, in fact.

If you behave in a way that might be deemed un-neighbourly, or discourteously, i.e outrageous and just not on, he will exact revenge. Don't be surprised to find a 3,000 volt (minimum) fence erected around his garden.

And don't think he's not on to you if you have him under surveillance. He knows you know he knows, but he's foxed you. It's that new young man in the butcher's, isn't it? He looks at people funny.

VIDEO: See Dufrais in action