Fonejacker:
.Irish Mike
He's the charmer from the Emerald Isle with a twinkle in his eye and a gap in his teeth who woos the ladies with his silver tongue and cheeky swagger.
On the other hand he's an evil, creepy harbinger of sluts who once ripped the innards from a swan and put them quite close to a baby and set up a false circus for children, erecting a Big Top in a playground and then filling it with sweat and oranges and clown that didn’t work and horses that only had two legs so they had to lean against things all the time and were generally a waste of time. Some think he may be the criminal mastermind 'The Puma' who committed a series of high-profile cat-burglaries in the South of France and then disappeared into the night, leaving his calling card of a single fig leaf and some turds. Or is he that bloke who keeps leaving my gate open so it starts banging and I have to get up and shut it, even though it’s hailing. Probably.
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