Friends:
The One With The Fancy New WebsiteChandler Bing (Matthew Perry)
Could he be anymore…you know…that way. With the talking and the speaking and the vaguely cynical slant to everything. Yes, Chandler would be the Friend you’d recognise if speaking from the inside of a locked safe.
This veil of scorn could be the result of his parentage. His mother is an embarrassing erotic novelist and his father was a cross-dresser played by Kathleen Turner. It’s amazing he ended up in that computer thingy job rather than a serial killer.
Oh and there’s also his hideous deformities, including a superfluous third nipple (though all nipples are superfluous on men, right?) and gammy foot, the result of a Monica/knife incident. So all this sardonic behaviour and Elephant Man style body image must make him a wow with the ladies, right? Ah, sorta.
Mr. Bing has a problem asking ladies out. In fact he’s shy to the point of many people thinking he’s gay. And when he does ask them out, then he can’t get rid of them. Which explains why the hatchet-voiced horror show that is Janice loomed large in his life for so many seasons. He once told her he was moving to Yemen – even Janice didn’t buy that one. He eventually drunkenly fell into bed with Moncia and, like many drunken one night stands with family friends, love blossomed.
He quit his vague computer job and started a vague job in advertising where a whole new set of co-workers were convinced he was gay. Even after he’d had twins.
Oh and his middle name is Muriel. Could he be any more…you know?
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