The Hollyoaks Music Show with Matalan

Calvin Harris

As Rick Edwards says, Calvin Harris is "a man who loves Hollyoaks so much he named himself after one of its characters". But where was former policeman Calvin Valentine when the raucous Harris hounds were starting a dance-pop riot to 'Flashback'? Answer: Strictly Come Dancing. Shame on you, Calvin Valentine!

If glowsticks were permitted on the set of The Hollyoaks Music Show with Matalan.co.uk, well, they certainly would have been in the air when the Calvinator played his ace card, 'I Am Not Alone'. Not only were the likes of Kieron (Ste), Bronagh (Cheryl) and Hollie-Jay (Michaela) busting a neon coloured move, but even Emma Rigby (who plays good as gold Hannah Ashworth) was seen to make a 'big fish, little fish, cardboard box' movement! Shocking behaviour!

Calvin tells us about the time he rejected Lady GaGa. One thing he wouldn't reject – jam. Read the oh-so revealing interview...

Daniel Merriweather

When Daniel Merriweather was just 18 years old, a strange trans-Atlantic accented man going by the name of Mark Ronson whispered into the ear of Master Merriweather, "Daniel, come with me and you'll find fame and fortune." Of course, old Ronson was right, but what Mark neglected to tell Danny was that he’d also appear singing in a Hollyoaks smoothie bar.

Yes, Daniel took to MOBs, the finest drinks establishment this side of The Loft, to treat us all to a tear-jerking rendition of 'Water and a Flame'. The emotion of the song complete with the setting (the place were Max and Steph's Hollyoaks relationship truly grew) got the better of some people indeed, including one Hollie-Jay Bowes (Michaela).

Daniel Merriweather really doesn’t have any idea what Hollyoaks is. I pity the fool. Read his soap opera ignorance here...

Master Shortie

Master Shortie is a dude. Let's make no bones about this. Who else could so effortlessly take to the Il Gnosh patio, perform his latest single, get everyone dancer and include Lil' Tom on backing vocals!?

Shortie's latest chooooon, 'Bringing It Back' and its 'old-skool style', even got Zoe a day release from her Hollyoaks prison stretch. If I were a prison guard I'd most certainly release an inmate just to let them witness the most bizarre lyric of 2009: "My hair's permed, so just relax". Erm, okay...

Master Shortie is bringing back the moustache. He tells me as much right here...

Calvin and Christmas lights of Hollyoaks village, Merriweather is slickest mother ever to have set foot in MOBS and Master Shortie brings back the moustache in the Episode Four Gallery