Hollyoaks Music Show
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Episode Ten Review
N-Dubz
There were tremors in Hollyoaks village during recording of the second episode and it wasn't N-Dubz's DJ Mazer's basslines swelling from their sound system! It was Dappy – he wasn't wearing his traditional Dappy hat!
The urban outfit, needless to say, swiftly recovered from this faux-pas. Why, you could even see ATD (Darren) and Jorgie P (Theresa) bopping like one of those bop it toys. The audience couldn't give a tuppence about the torrential downpour – would you if you were wearing a highly fashionable poncho? – because N-Dubz ode to Facebook woes, 'I Need You', took their mind off any weather worries.
The Saturdays
It's not unusual to see five steaming hotties in Hollyoaks village. Why, you can see the McQueen girls strutting their stuff outside Drive'n'Buy on any given weekday, but it's not often you see Myra & co. performing the finest tunes pop has to offer. No, The Hollyoaks Music Show with Matalan.co.uk gave that job to The "bare legs, bare legs, black tights, bare legs, black trousered" Saturdays.
The lovely ladies gyrated their hips through the top 5 hi-energy, pop-rock rousing 'Forever Is Over', which, as Rick Edwards informed us, was written by Busted's James Bourne (you know, the one who's not Matt Willis or in Fightstar). Judging by the shapes they were throwing, Jenny Metcalfe (Mercedes) and Andy Moss (Rhys) certainly gave their seal of approval.
Taio Cruz
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe Taio Cruz is the first R&B singer with six top 30 singles to have performed his number one single 'Break Your Heart' in front of five Hollyoaks cast members. And boy, did he do it well!
Other facets from Taio's Il Gnosh performance that need to be noted: Taio wore a Black Sabbath T-shirt – can't wait to hear the impending heavy metal direction his garments imply! Taio's drummer is the happiest drummer in all of the land – is this something to do with the contents of his backpack, which he insisted on wearing throughout the performance? Oi! Drummer! What's in your bag!?
Pixie Lott
Pixie Lott performed on the Hollyoaks village stage with her new break-up ballad 'Cry Me Out'. The last time I saw such conviction and emotion shown in Hollyoaks village, Neville Ashworth was getting irate about a gang of hoodlums hanging around the Drive'N'Buy...
Our Pixie's not all sweetness and light though, no! Much like Neville's competitive pricing, Pixie too can attract a lairy crowd. In the audience was a staff-wielding Bronagh (Cheryl) and a gawping Elliot James Langridge (Dave), who was both behind her metaphorically and literally.
We talk to Pixie Lott about our idea of ending the credit crunch. It involves her legs.
Paolo Nutini
The last time there was a horn section in Il Gnosh, Cindy was flashing a pair of suspenders, but this time round there was no saucy lingerie on show, just some good time vibes courtesy of Paolo Nutini.
Paolo, and his band of merry men (a couple of whom looked oddly like Howard Moon from The Mighty Boosh), treated the crowd to a sterling performance of 'Pencil Full of Lead'. 'PFoL', as we (and no-one else) like to call it, is a song taken from 'Sunny Side Up', the third biggest selling album of 2009. And that, ladies and gents, is a fact.
Paolo Nutini introduces us to his merry band of Howard Moons in the Episode Ten Gallery
Calvin Harris
As Rick Edwards says, Calvin Harris is "a man who loves Hollyoaks so much he named himself after one of its characters". But where was former policeman Calvin Valentine when the raucous Harris hounds were starting a dance-pop riot to 'I'm Not Alone'? Answer: Strictly Come Dancing. Shame on you, Calvin Valentine!
If glowsticks were permitted on the set of The Hollyoaks Music Show with Matalan.co.uk, well, they certainly would have been in the air. Not only were the likes of Kieron (Ste), Bronagh (Cheryl) and Hollie-Jay (Michaela) busting a neon coloured move, but even Emma Rigby (who plays good as gold Hannah Ashworth) was seen to make a 'big fish, little fish, cardboard box' movement! Shocking behaviour!