School of Comedy

Hello and thank you so much that we are here in your land, take your money and use of all your resource. Back home it is so funny to our people that your people pay real money to have a man fix pipes and woman clean a sink. Ha ha. Silly Englishes, with your cream tea, rock music and collapsing social fabric.

When we go back to our homeland to live like a king and queen, we will miss very much your British television. Our television at home is a terrible. We have no 'Home Under A Hammer' or even 'Place In a Sun'. Number one programme is 'Potato Time' when a man come on and compare one potato with other potato. He does not solve crime or play a quiz. Rubbish. After 'Potato Time' there is period of silence, then prayers to the President, then singing.

We will be sad to leave your TV, but do not cry for us. Now we have finished our visa, we will take our suitcases of Euros home to make a family life in small industrial suburb with house and car. We will be as happy as a pickle in a vinegar.