School of Comedy

TERRY: Yeah, my name's Terry and this is my mate Phil.

PHIL: Alright.

TERRY: We drive around in my van. Delivering things. Don't we Phil?

PHIL: That's correct.

TERRY: We van men have a bit of a reputation for being a slightly macho, a bit rough around the edges, but that's erroneous, ain't it?

PHIL: It is indeed erroneous Terry.

TERRY: I consider myself quite a sensitive chap. I have feelings. I enjoy the poetry of Walt Whitman, the music of Enya and... hold on a second, I've just spotted a lady... HHUUUGGHHLLLIIAAAANNNNNTTTTEEEERRRRRRR... Right, that's better.

PHIL: Nice shout Terry.

TERRY: Yeah? Did she turn around?

PHIL: Nope didn't bat an eyelid.

TERRY: Great, as I was saying, I'm quite deep, I like Bach and Tony Parsons... quick, Phil, there's a student, have a shout at her...

PHIL: Brilliant, hold on... BBBBUUUURRRRRDDDDDGGGGGEEEELLLLLLLLLLKKKKKKK

TERRY: Good work Phil, she looked genuinely disturbed.

PHIL: Did she?

TERRY: Anyway, just trying to set the record straight, not all us van men are sexist, brutish pigs. We have feelings too...

PHIL: Quick, Terry, there's a nun!

TERRY: Great... DDDDUUUUYYYYYYTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLL...

PHIL: She's crying Terry.

TERRY: Sweet.