Jal
Hi everyone, I don't actually believe in all this but Michelle's forced me into creating a page...so here goes...my aria:
FAMILY: I live with my dad Ronnie (Yes, that Ronnie Fazer...No, I don't know when he's releasing a new album. And no, he doesn't want to listen to your demo) and my two brothers Ace and Lynton. I've come to the conclusion that my brothers were adopted since they both appear to have grown up in South Central LA. They also subscribe to a ridiculous but popular religious belief which states that TuPac is the murdered Son of God, and that God is actually Queen Latifah (or Lil' Kim, I forget which one). Oh, and they think that the 'Messiah', 'rhymes' to them personally from beyond the grave.
EXPERT ADVISORS: Michelle for frills, Chris for pills, Cassie for thrills.
HYMNS: I tend to go for G flats when what I really should be looking for is a man who is F# in the morning, will stretto through the afternoon and calypso til dawn. There's no-one special at the moment. But watch this space. I am.
MY FREQUENCY: I'm not putting a list of bands that I've only just heard of, that some music magazines have told me I have to like...So here's my favourite musical dynamics:
Dolce
Affectuoso
Rubato
Gioioso
Btw, if there are any lawyers reading this, can you tell me if I can sue MTV Base for prolonged emotional distress? I think I have a pretty substantial case if you're interested...
LIKES: Eating chips late at night in time to Gershwin. With a portion of mash on the side. The way Maxxie makes music with his feet. The correlation between maths and music - Pythagorean triples - my friend Cassie knows what I mean...
DISLIKES: Clothes shopping (who cares!). Steamed broccoli. Budding R&B artists who prance around in my dad's dressing gown.
AMBITION: To take the clarinet to places never been to before.
WEBSITES: www.hotclarinet.blogspot.com/, www.cynical-c.com
Jal's blog
Posted on 15/09/2007
So...I admit, I don't usually get excited about stuff, people might even go as far to say that I’m quite constraint...but on this very day a landmark has be reached, a day that I thought would never come. The stainless steel chains that bound me to scarring of my inner lip and minimalist movements of my mouth in conversations…have been broken...I'VE GOT MY FUCKING BRACES OFF! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That’s right...I’m a free woman...I feel like Nelson Mandela, but you know, a woman, and a bit less important...just a little bit.Things have changed since I was last free...I mean jelly babies' jelly capacity have increased. Granny Smiths seem to have lost their sting. And what the hell has happened to the lion bar???
This is a new page. And on that note I declare...Fuck orthodonticism! Dr. Singh, fuck your glowing gun that you shove against my teeth! I'm tired of that saliva vacuum thingymajig, that I’m sure is sucking my soul out of me...I'm tired of worrying whether or not my canine is going to explode because my rubber band popped out when eating broccoli…and do you really expect me to wear those retainers…my smile has been attractively challenged for years and the minute I correct that you want to give me a bloody speech impediment! In the words of my brothers...
"SUCK OUT BLUD!"
*Kisses her lush teeth, logs out and skips off Robben Island on the way to the penny shop with a fiver*
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