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Alo
NAME: Aloysius Creevey
ABOUT ME: I can guess the nationality of any homemade porn without turning the sound up. Seriously. It's a pretty simple formula.
England: Bad teeth. Usually a little grotty.
America: A bit angry. Always follows the basic porn checklist.
French: The women all look amazing and the men all look like dicks.
Germany: Lots of ass stuff.
The best home made I have ever seen are some Victorian photos of naked ladies. It cost me my entire back catalogue of Asian Fanny Fun in a trade but it was worth it.
The wicked thing about the photos is that they're of ladies. Not like any old ladies but proper high society type ladies. You can tell by their names on the back but mostly you can tell just by the way they're sitting. It fucking kills me.
Like, you're in Victorian England, the most sexually repressed time or place on earth and you're still sneaking out under the cover of darkness, to dodge Jack the Ripper, just so someone will take a few snaps of your lady garden? That's proper sexy. 'Course they are all probably dead now but as long as you don't think about that you're fine.
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Anything I can get.
LIKES: My weed, my van, my dog.
BOOKS: Youth in Revolt, The Dharma Bums, The Velveteen Rabbit.
MUSIC: Blitzen Trapper, Wolf Parade, Dog is Dead, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zero's, Fruit Bats AND Filthy filthy filthy filthy filth. Borgore, Excision, DatSikk, Funtcase, 16 Bit. Choons dirtier than a council flat on dole day.
MOVIES: Into the Wild, Grizzly Man, Where the Wild Things Are, East of Eden, The Jungle Book, Backdoor Sluts 9, The Hangover.
TV: Ninja Warrior!!! One man and his dog. Party Down. Summer Heights High. Babestation. South Park. Family Guy, Lookwell.
DREAM DATE: Cathy Barry.
MOTTO/QUOTATION: 'Take your finger out of there!’
WEBSITES: www.uhhyeahdude.com/
TWITTER: @alo_alo_alo_alo
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